Coming in for a Landing

Tuesday, September 27, 2011. 10:00 a.m. MDT. Flying somewhere over the mountain ranges of Colorado.  We are due to land at LAX at 11:00 a.m. Pacific time and our pilot tells us we will be arriving early due to the gorgeous weather on this coast.

Even though this is just a short visit, it’s incredible that we are on this plane right now.  All morning, I’ve been reminding myself that after all these months of planning and looking forward to this trip, it’s actually here.  It’s exciting and full of angst, as we don’t know what to expect.  What we experience this week will shape our lives on the West Coast and help point us down the right paths.

On our earlier connector flight into Chicago, the woman sitting with us in our three-person row was very friendly and interested in why we were heading to Los Angeles.  After mentioning that she has a few friends who have been living out there for around 10 years, working in the film industry, she kindly took our contact information to give to her friends, in the hopes that we could soon connect.  After this encounter, I’m reminded of a line in “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, one that I cherish and frequently recite in my head: When you want something, all the the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

A Leap of Faith: Making a Big Life Change

In September of 2010, Austin and I opened up a savings account and began making weekly deposits.  In the beginning, we put in a small amount each week – as much as we could afford after we paid bills, loans and bought groceries.  Then we began to set goals for ourselves: $100 or more per week and any extra money we made from freelance gigs or dogsitting would go into our savings account.  We called it “California Savings.”

It wasn’t just a random name that we gave our nest egg.  A year ago, we decided that since we both want to seriously work in the film and/or television media industries, we needed to change our location to increase opportunities for ourselves.  We chose Los Angeles, California.

One year later, we have a plan, a departure date and money saved to help us make a big change in our lives.  On Wednesday, October 19, 2011, we will leave our jobs on the East Coast for the last time.  Early Monday morning, October 24, 2011, we will drive out of Massachusetts in our packed-to-the-top Ford Escape, and begin the week-long journey across the country.

Along the way, we will be filming with Austin’s Canon T2i, and capturing photos of each place we visit.  I’ll be writing to document our experiences and update our friends, families and followers on our journey.

This is our leap of faith.  We don’t know what will happen, but that’s the beauty of taking a chance on something you really want.  Take action, learn, adapt. 

Wherever you are in your own journey, we wish you well.

Finding Balance

Even though I try very hard to stay organized, focused and motivated in my personal life, I sometimes get a little distracted and off-course.

This is one of those times.

I have been mentally scolding myself for not exercising on a regular and consistent basis and for letting myself become disorganized when it comes to my bills and filing, and even for our bedroom being messy!

I can easily pinpoint the causes of these problems.  The obvious one is our physical move from our spacious apartment to a tiny bedroom.  Space is not an issue for me, if it’s organized. To give you an example of why I am stressed: the majority of my clothes are currently spilling out of a large pink storage bucket on the floor of our room. Our closets are stuffed with hanging clothes and littered with random boxes and bags that contain things I have probably forgotten I own.  Every time I need something, whether it be a certain pair of shoes, a piece of mail I recieved the day before, or a shirt that I haven’t already worn this week, I undoubtedly cannot locate it.

A small part of me is saying, “Breathe, woman. It’s not that bad and it’s only temporary.” The rest of me is ready for a meltdown of epic porportions, which may or may not include eating an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies.

*Courtesy of NYTimes.com. Perfection in a picture.

Ok, so that was a little venting. (Obviously, eating those cookies will put me even more off track from my workout plan.)  I know that I’m feeling like I don’t have much control right now, because I don’t. But when do I ever?

I know that it will take small steps in order to feel more balanced in my current situation.  Just by taking a small amount of time each day to work on things I am unhappy with, I know I will feel better. These are a few things I know I need to work on:

1. Creating a space to neatly store my clothes, shoes and other items so I don’t spend an unnecessary amount of time looking for things;

2. Getting up earlier to accomplish more on the weekdays (e.g. blog posting, working remotely, EXERCISING);

3. Finding a filing system that is easy and efficient so I never lose important mail or documents.

What areas of your life can you work on in order to feel more balanced?

Failure

We are bombarded on a daily basis with choices we need to make, and there is always a tiny fear of choosing wrong.

Wondering whether you made the right decision or not can be damaging and is a habit of living in the past.  Each decision, big or small, has led you to the place you are in at this moment.  Step back.  Look around.  Do you like where you are?

If not, then maybe things need to change.  You don’t necessarily need to do anything drastic, but you can start by making small changes to help you move in the direction you’d like to go.  And you can start by trusting that even a “wrong” decision, can lead to good things.

I’ve tried to change my mindset and view the words “wrong” and “failure” as positives.  If I have failed at something, doesn’t that mean I’ve at least tried? What matters is that I’ve followed my instinct and trusted myself enough to go for something, without knowing how it would turn out.

Have you failed at something and found happiness, success or joy from it?

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all.  In which case, you’ve failed by default. – J. K. Rowling, Harvard Commencement Address, 2008

Moving On

Moving from one place to another is inevitably more difficult and stressful than expected, no matter the distance.

This week, Austin and I moved from our apartment in Warren to the next town over to live with his dad and brother for the summer.  Our lease was up and we figured crashing somewhere temporarily – and saving money on rent – would be the best decision.

The last few days have been hectic, stressful and disorienting, as we’ve haphazardly packed our belongings, dropped a good deal of stuff we no longer needed at Salvation Army and attempted to cram our four-room apartment into a tiny bedroom for the time being.  Needless to say, the process was exhausting and it’s going to take some time before I feel grounded again.

Despite feeling out of sorts, I also feel a renewed energy to start making changes in my life, namely, to live more simply and become healthier.  In an attempt to make these changes happen and to hopefully inspire others to make small changes in their own lives, I’ve outlined a few of my goals:

1. Get rid of stuff: This includes clothes I rarely wear, books I’ve never read (and probably won’t for a while), kitchen items I never use (and likely don’t even know how to use) and miscellaneous items that I just shouldn’t be holding on to.  I’ve already donated bags of clothes, shoes and handbags and boxes of kitchen utensils and cookware to Salvation Army.  I’ve downsized a lot, which feels refreshing, but I know I can get rid of even more stuff and truly be living minimally.

2.  Think twice about purchases. All too often, we go to the market to and buy food items that we NEVER end up using, or that we use a little of for a specific recipe and put it in the depths of the fridge never to be seen again.  When we had to clean out our apartment this week, we must have emptied over 10 bottles and jars of condiments like salad dressings and sauces that sadly wasted away.  To rectify this, I’m going to be more diligent about making grocery lists and buying only what we need and know we are going to use.  We already utilize our local farmers’ markets for fresh produce and other homemade foods that we know we won’t waste.

3. Stick to an exercise routine. I’ve always been a runner and love to stay active, but within the past year I’ve definitely let myself get extremely lazy.  Transitioning into a new place has inspired me to get active and start eating healthier.   I just acquired a new bicycle to start riding after work and am going to start waking up at least an hour earlier each day to go for a morning walk or run to start the day.

None of these goals will happen overnight, but by making small, gradual changes over the course of the next few months, I will be living lighter.

Fear

If you are a bit scared to do something, do it anyway. Take the leap of faith and see what happens.

Behind every big decision, lurking around every corner of change, is going to be fear.  Fear that something bad will happen, that things won’t work out, that you’ll fail miserably at what you’re trying to accomplish.  Instead of letting fear envelop and constrict you, harness that fear and let it energize you into taking action.  Do what you are afraid of.  It may not work out.  Something bad may happen.  Whatever happens, live with the mindset that your life will be richer for the experience, good or bad.

There are many things that I am afraid to do.  I’m scared that things won’t go according to plan.  But each day, I am becoming more and more accepting of the notion that the most exciting and memorable events in our lives are so very often not planned. 

So today, do something you’re a little bit scared to do.  Start a conversation with a total stranger.  Practice learning an entirely new language.  Take a chance and follow your instinct.  It’s called a leap of faith for a reason, and it may just be the best thing you ever did.

When You Were Young

Think back to when you were a little kid.  Think of all of the things that were appealing to you: what you loved to do and what you spent time engaging in.  I remember being very young and feeling free to dance and sing to my heart’s content (and there are home videos to prove it).  I loved performing for family members, whether it was telling nonsense jokes of my own creation or belting out the wrong words to a Disney song.  I was energetic about engaging other people and wanting to offer them something in the way of entertainment.

And then there was a side of me that spent large amounts of time, especially during the sticky days of summer, out in my own backyard, talking to myself as if I was narrating an exciting adventure story of trekking through a vast jungle filled with endless trees and plant life and exotic animals to follow and befriend.  I was often content with nature as my playmate.

Now, I think back and realize that these were the things that I loved at an age where there was no pressure or stress for me, and no one was telling me to do one thing or another.  I didn’t understand or think about the concept of money, or think about planning.  I simply lived in the moment and engaged my imagination and creative side.  I’ve grown up with those characteristics and now I wonder how I can translate what I loved passionately as a child into something to offer the world.

Before my adult life was bogged down with exams to take, deadlines to meet and jobs to acquire, I often thought about what I wanted to do when I “grew up.”  In my head, a rundown of the things I used to dream about were performing as a singer or actress on vast stage like Broadway or writing novels and children’s adventure books, where my imagination and creativity could thrive.

I still don’t have a set idea in my mind of what I want to do and I’m very OK with that.  When I know, I’ll know.

This blog is a personal venture to not only inspire and motivate myself to pursue my passions but to encourage others to do the same.

Starting Now

*Update: October 18, 2011*

Since starting this new blog a few months ago, I’ve figured out what I want this blog to be.  It’s going to be an adventure story, starting with the week-long, cross-country road trip Austin and I will embark on beginning Sunday, October 23, 2011, and continuing into our new life in Hollywood, California.

I have wanted to begin a new blog for some time now.  I wanted a fresh start and to feel passionately about what I write and share with the world.

The worst part is I don’t know where to start.

I titled my blog “The Wandering Soul” mostly for lack of a suitable title that accurately describes who I am and what I hope to accomplish.  I still don’t truly know.  Just thinking about the question, “what do you want out of life,” scares me to a great extent, because my first instinct is to reply, “I have no idea…there must be something wrong with me!”

That’s not exactly true (on both counts). I do have some semblance of an idea of what I want to do with my life (so many different things) and I know that there is nothing wrong with not having a clear-cut path. 

Within the past year or so, I’ve started to believe in myself more than ever.  And I truly believe that not knowing what I want out of life is where my adventure begins.  I want to experience so much and I know I will.  Starting now.