We’ve landed. Hollywood is almost exactly as I’ve imagined. Big and flashy, billboards everywhere you turn, tall palm trees lining almost every major street, and an unnecessary number of cosmetic surgery offices.
That’s only Hollywood. We’ve also seen some beautiful and quiet residential streets with well-kept homes and neatly trimmed front yards, and we’ve traveled the length of Santa Monica Boulevard to feel the dip in the air temperature as we stretch closer and closer to the ocean.
I’m honestly relieved when I ask Austin what he thinks about this area, and he answers that he’s looking for a more peaceful place to call home. I still can’t get rid of these butterflies in my stomach. Maybe it’s nerves, maybe it’s being completely out of my comfort zone, and feeling tired from a long morning of travel. I’m so happy to be here, experiencing all of this, but at the same time, I feel on edge, and it doesn’t help when I start thinking about the tasks that lay ahead: finding a place to live and finding steady employment.
I’m ready to work hard and struggle and sacrifice to find something I love to do. I’m willing to put forth the effort to reap the reward. That willingness doesn’t make it any less easy. And as much as I’ve been looking forward to this move, I still can’t escape feeling tiny against a huge backdrop, and feeling like maybe I don’t know what I got myself into.
I keep reminding myself though, that I felt something similar my first day of college. A mere five years ago, I was feeling small and meek and nervous about a huge transition in my life. But I made it through, with flying colors. I managed and made it work and got past those feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I made friends, I excelled and felt happy and learned so much. I just need to keep reminding myself that now, I’m not only older and wiser, but I have my best friend here by my side. Austin may not feel as nervous as I do, but that’s why I love him, because he is different than me. I know that he’ll comfort me when I need it, and I’ll do the same for him, and we will both treasure this new experience together.